I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
