ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
