Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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