College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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