weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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