It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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