Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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