if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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