I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
