You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
