Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
