There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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