it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
