Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
