I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
