no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
