Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
