Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
