I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My dick has a subreddit
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
