fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
