He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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