Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
