What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
