elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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