This is not my ceiling
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
