she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Found your dick twin last night
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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