whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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