I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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