i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
