Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I would ride that face into the sunset
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize