Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
