I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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