ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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