3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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