I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
