I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
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He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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