Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize