there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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