I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
