That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
