You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
