she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
