We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
