Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
