Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
