have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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