It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
