I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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