eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Boobs speak an international language.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
