Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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