rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
