I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
