My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
