So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
