so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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