hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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