definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
