Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
