My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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