I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
