is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
home. puking in laundry basket.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
