i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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