i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
