I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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